[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Business Miracles podcast. I'm Heather Dominick, founder of Businessmiracles.com comma and author of the book the highly sensitive leadership Revolution.
[email protected] since 2010, I've been training highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders from around the globe to work less while making more impact and income by doing things differently. I'm so glad you joined me. Listen in and get ready. Get ready for a shift in the way you view yourself, your work, your life. A Business Miracle.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: This is a course on Business Miracles podcast episode 159 the path to empowerment as highly sensitives, it can often feel like running a business.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: Or just living your life is one.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Big, unending drama of overwhelm. There's always something to be managed, right? On this podcast episode, I share how to move out of the dreaded drama triangle and onto the path of empowerment by learning how to shift out of the shadow roles of rescuer, persecutor, and victim and into the empowering roles of coach, challenger, and creator, powered by your.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Highly sensitive strengths of empathy, intuition, and creativity.
The NFD theory stands for the need.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: For drama, the need for drama or crisis for yourself and or others.
So research studies show that people who have a higher level of resilience and a lower tolerance for personal drama experience more success in both business and life.
The NFD theory, based on a research paper developing and testing a scale to measure the need for drama, provides this clinical definition.
The need for drama can be defined as a compound personality trait in which individuals impulsively manipulate others and circumstances to create a continuous re experience of drama.
And I'll share that again as well.
The NFD the need for drama personality can be defined as a compound personality trait in which individuals impulsively manipulate others and circumstances to create a continuous re experience of drama.
Let's take a breath in and let it out.
The Cartman drama triangle shows the relationship between the three primary tendencies for drama. The persecutor I blame you.
The rescuer, I am obligated and the victim I can't.
Persecutor, rescuer, and victim.
According to David Cartman, creator of the Cartman drama triangle theory, each of us has a tendency towards a dominant drama, yet we all experience elements of each of the three dramas.
Taking a moment, just doing an internal check in and scan which one tends to show up most frequently for you, persecutor, I blame you.
Coming from a place of internal shame, rescuer, I am obligated. Coming from a place of internal resentment. Victim I can't. Coming from an internal place, stuck and guilt.
Each of the three dramas ultimately is triggered by a sense of fear. Please write that down.
There's a Harvard study that had students playing the online video game Tetris for 5 hours straight.
Now, personally, I have never played this game, but maybe you have or you know of someone who has. From what I can tell, the gist of the game Tetris is to take objects or shapes that are falling from the sky, the video sky, and arrange them in order to create a straight line.
So again, Harvard study students playing Tetris for 5 hours straight.
What was discovered as part of this study is that students were massively impact by this 5 hours of video game playing. So much so that students were dreaming about Tetris for days following the study.
One student in particular shared a story of walking out of the study, going to a grocery store with a friend and the friend finding her in an aisle, rearranging loaves of bread to create a straight line.
So the ultimate of what this study showed is that if you view the world through the same pattern for too long, your brain keeps that pattern even if it's not working for you.
The safest place to begin to act out looking for familiarity. Write that down.
Looking for a familiar sense that there must have to be a problem.
There must have to be a sense of drama. There must have to be an experience of resistance. If there isn't a problem or drama or resistance, I am not alive.
All unconscious.
Which is why we bring it here to this weekly training roundtable to shine the light on it now also for us as highly sensitives, according to Bowen's family dynamic theory, there is one member in every family who tends to be the absorber, the person who absorbs the family's problems. The person who absorbs the family's drama.
Now, as I have taught the Bowens family dynamic theory for years now, I always preface it by saying there is not official research out there that directly connects the absorber with the highly sensitive in the family.
Yet, my practical research of mentoring highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders since 2010 shows that there tends to be a high.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: Probability that those of us as highly.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: Sensitives were the absorbers in our family. So we absorbed our family's tendency towards drama, whatever that might have been in your family, persecutor, rescuer, victim, all as an attempt to be accepted within our family dynamic.
We learned drama is the way to get attention, to get our needs met. We tend towards drama, or tending towards drama is easier then outing our essential cell.
Why? How is all of this valuable?
It's valuable so that we can shift through the AyUk transformation process a as part of IUK to be aware. Oh my gosh. There's a thing called the need for drama and understanding the you in that the IU transformation process. Oh, I'm starting to have a better understanding of where my tendency is. I've been totally unconscious to this. My tendency is towards the need for drama and then k beginning to work our way through understanding to knowing to make a true change, to release the need for drama, to release the need for resistance in order to be able to optimally operate as a high functioning, highly sensitive to create entrepreneurial and leadership success.
The way we do that, the way out is shadows to strengths pathway.
You'll also find this pathway in my book the highly sensitive leadership revolution on page 104.
What the pathway shows us is how to shift from our shadow tendencies as highly sensitives through drama into empowerment into our specific highly sensitive strengths.
So go back to your reflection on the triangle for yourself. Do you notice you tend towards rescuer, persecutor or victim? You can see on the pathway, oh, the highly sensitive shadow of over responsibility tends to be connected to the drama of rescue.
Oh, my way through it is to access my inner coat and then to support myself in shifting into my highly sensitive strength of empathy.
And same for persecutor, over protection, victim and overwhelm into challenger, intuition into creator creativity. The pathway is there for you.
How do we move ourselves through the pathway to consistently be in the process of shifting from resistance to resilience, shifting from shadow to strength, shifting from drama to empowerment, and no longer having the need for drama?
Breath in and let it out.
The need for drama can be kind of slippery. It can be so familiar to us, so ingrained that we don't even recognize it. It's like, wait a minute, like things could actually be different than that.
Where you want to check in, what is the story that you find that you tend to repeat consistently? It always seems to be happening, right? There's always someone that needs to be taken care of, right? Or there's always some way that you are being wronged. That's the persecutor, right? Or there's some way that things are happening to you. That's the victim. It shows up in all different ways. But if we really strip away the details, you can just see the through lie.
Not wanting problems or believing that you shouldn't have problems. Right. Is also a form of drama, though. It's not about like, oh, if I don't have drama and I don't have problems. No, it's about the way that you respond to the problems and so believing like, oh yeah, like I can have what I want and the world will not fall apart.
Yes, that is shifting from drama to empowerment to strength.
[00:13:07] Speaker C: Thank you for being a part of this business miracles podcast episode and for beginning to dip your toe into the journey of highly sensitive leadership training. If you are ready to truly use your sensitivities as strengths in all parts of your work and life, I invite you to connect for a one on one chat. You will experience being deeply listened to, and together we'll get a sense of whether the highly sensitive leadership training programs are the best next step for you and your highly sensitive journey. At this time, just go to www.claritycall.com to schedule a conversation. We so look forward to connecting with you. Talk to you soon.
