[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Business Miracles Podcast. I'm Heather Dominick, founder of BusinessMiracles.com and author of the book the Highly Sensitive Leadership revolution
[email protected] Since 2010 I've been training highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders from around the globe to work less while making more impact and income by doing things differently. I'm so glad you joined me. Listen in and get ready. Get ready for a shift in the way you view yourself. Your work, your life. A business miracle.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: This is a course in Business miracles podcast episode 209 harnessing visibility and Vulnerability as an HSP Business Leadership Skill in this episode I share how I came to develop this teaching on visibility and vulnerability. It's what I call V and V Energy. I open up about how early in my self employed career over 20 years ago and my journey of discovering that I was a highly sensitive person, I came to recognize that many of the men and women I was mentoring were also highly sensitive people and how through coaching them, I began to see a very common pattern.
A pattern of these clients not being willing to be seen for their true selves, especially in their marketing. This pattern of avoidance led me to explore what was needed in order for HSPs to harness VNV energy as a leadership skill.
Now this is such an important Business Miracles teaching to return to over and over again in the highly sensitive leadership training programs and especially now because VNV energy is so needed in the world.
Please listen in as I dive deeper into what it means to be in true VNV energy as a trained hsp.
And definitely stay tuned until the end because I'm going to share with you some really valuable coach inquiry questions to help you put a core practice in place for yourself that will support you in developing this most important business leadership skill. All right, let's dive in.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Welcome.
[00:02:45] Speaker C: Welcome. We are here for today's topic which is Visibility and Vulnerability as an HSP Leadership Skill.
Whether in business, for yourself or leading an association, an organization, or within any type of life leadership, it is absolutely powerful to be able to embrace what I like to refer to as V and V energy.
So let's take a moment to just break this down and what is visibility and vulnerability exactly? Well, according to yes. Merriam Webster Dictionary, the definition of visibility is the state of being able to see or be seen.
The state of being able to see or be seen Definition for Vulnerability Three definitions to share one.
Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded 2.
Open to attack or damage vulnerable to criticism 3.
Liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge, which I literally had to look up, I was like, what in the world is contract bridge?
It's totally a gambling card game.
So liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game and contract bridge.
Visibility and vulnerability with these definitions in mind, such an important awareness for us as HSPs. And here's why.
Visibility and vulnerability has a direct connection to our HSP shadow of overprotection. And I don't know about you, but after hearing those definitions for vulnerability, we can kind of see why, right?
It's also a direct connection to all three HSP coping mechanisms.
Coping mechanism of pushing, I'll move so fast, you won't get me.
The coping mechanism of hiding, I'll be so invisible, you won't get me.
The coping mechanism of combo plattering, I'll be so all over the place, you won't get me.
So let me share a little bit about when and how this teaching developed.
This was literally in my very first year of serving other HSPs in business, only at that time, not yet the concept of leadership. So all the way back in 2010, I had just recently discovered that I was an HSP myself, learning truly in real time what that meant. I had never heard the term highly sensitive person before that time.
I had introduced this concept to the women entrepreneurs that I was coaching at the time. And lo and behold, the majority of them also were HSPs.
Your ideal client is a version of you.
So as I was starting to coach and teach from this HSP awareness, I started the early days of identifying coping mechanisms.
And in that identification I recognized that a typical pattern for the HSP women entrepreneurs that I was coaching and teaching, I recognized the pattern of not being willing to be seen for who they really were.
One There was such a stigmatism, especially at that time, around just even the idea of being highly sensitive.
When I first introduced this concept to those original women in the room, not one of them wanted to be associated with being hsp.
And definitely no one at that time was coaching or teaching or mentoring around HSPs. Now I like to say you can swing a chamomile teabag and you'll hit an HSP coach.
But at the time I was like the only one.
So these women did not want to be seen for who they really were. They definitely did not want to admit that they were highly sensitive and they didn't even want to reveal more genuine, authentic aspects of just who they were as a person in their marketing.
So I recognize two trends. You would have the pushers who would be like all out with all the bells and whistles, matching all the non hsps in business, all the other 80 percenters as I like to call them, and their website would look just like the 80 percenters and their copy would look just like the 80 percenters and their presentations would look and sound just like the 80 percenters. And these women were exhausted and frustrated and overwhelmed.
And then you had the hiders and their website and their copy also looked just like the 80 percenters. But whenever I checked in on them in terms of what they were taking action on, I would typically hear, oh yeah, I didn't have time.
My neighbor's cat was super sick so I had to really care for her. That was 10 days.
And then the laundry piled up so I had to do all that. And yeah, and then you know, there's you know, all the volunteer organizations.
So getting to the bottom of what was going on, I realized that it wasn't about changing an approach to marketing.
It wasn't about setting up a different schedule or even setting boundaries. It was about getting to what is driving the behavior underneath. And that's when I really identified oh, we need to consciously cultivate a sense of self created safety and being willing to be seen for who we really are.
Otherwise we're all going to burn out and tank in a matter of months, if not weeks, if not days.
So began the practice of VNB energy literally visibility and vulnerability as an ongoing core practice like any other muscle to strengthen to be in ongoing practice of being willing to be seen for who we really are.
So in the name of VNV as a core practice, let's first clarify some important differentiation.
So the difference between sharing in VNDV as a trained HSP in business and leadership.
So what that looks like as a core practice.
So one before sharing nbnb, the trained HSP will turn to energy management first and specifically as a form of inquiry.
So using a tool such as auto writing or the rainsit process, or the shame transformation tool as an expansion of the rainsit process, all to support working that muscle into a place to be able to share as part of, let me say share publicly as part of the IUK process.
So the energy management and specifically inquiry gives you deeper access to awareness and understanding to then be able to go into choice and action into knowing. So again, sharing in BNB as a trained HSP in business and leadership first, energy management second, asking for support.
So energy management even before to asking for support.
Now asking for support might be about how do I best show up in VNV in this particular situation, in this particular marketing.
It could also be how do I show up in VNV for a specific difficult conversation personally and or professionally?
It could be also how do I show up in BNB professionally and or personally asking for what I need regarding time management the HSP way, or asking for what I need for seasonal transitions or Simply for Transition Kids 3 is to then pay forward your practice of VNB in service to those that you support.
So 1 energy management first to ask for support 3 pay it forward positioning yourself by strengthening that B and B muscle to then be able to show up more authentically, genuinely with those that you coach, those that you teach, those that you lead.
This gives you a genuine voice of I understand you creating a deeper attraction with prospects, with personal relationships within team building Now Sharing in VNV as an Untrained HSP an untrained HSP will spew without turning to energy management.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: First.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: They will vent, emphasizing victim from the drama triangle in the name of being vulnerable.
They will share unprocessed again, not having used energy management tools as an attempt to elicit sympathy versus having a difficult conversation with personal responsibility.
An untrained HSP will use the name of visibility and vulnerability as an excuse not to take the actions needed to create what they say that they want.
An untrained HSP in the name of visibility and vulnerability will go into story, unprocessed story, as a way to distract herself and others.
And most importantly, an untrained HSP will share before or when still in process, especially publicly.
The trained HSP uses BNB as a core practice energy management asking for support and then paying it forward.
The untrained HSP is messy, unprocessed, no energy management, no ask for support, no clear core practice.
Now VNV as all of our tools, teachings and trainings and the highly sensitive leadership training programs does not need to be perfect.
It simply needs to be conscious.
If you're unsure of where to start with energy management, you can use this prompt to support you and I invite you to write this down.
If I wasn't afraid of being hurt here, I would.
If I wasn't afraid of being hurt here, I would complete that prompt and then ask what energy management tool will best support me.
I'm going to invite you to write these questions down.
Question number one how is VNV energy meant to be a core practice for me?
How is VNV energy meant to be a core practice for me.
Question number two how will this practice benefit me in my business and life?
How will this practice benefit me in my business and and on heart?
Take a breath in and let it out.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: Thank you for being a part of this Business Miracles podcast episode and for beginning to dip your toe into the journey of highly sensitive leadership training Training if you are ready to truly use your sensitivities as strengths in all parts of your work and life, I invite you to connect for a one on one chat. You will experience being deeply listened to and together we'll get a sense of whether the highly sensitive leadership training programs are the best next step for you and your highly sensitive journey. At this time, just go to www.claritycall.com to schedule a conversation. We so look forward to connecting with you. Talk to you soon.
