[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Business Miracles podcast. I'm Heather Dominick, founder of Businessmiracles.com comma and author of the book the Highly sensitive Leadership Revolution.
[email protected] since 2010, I've been training highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders from around the globe to work less while making more impact and income by doing things differently. I'm so glad you joined me. Listen in and get ready. Get ready for a shift in the way you view yourself, your work, your life. A business Miracle.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: This is a course in Business Miracles podcast. Episode 169 highly sensitive leadership as a professional part two featuring highly sensitive leader Brian Murphy. In this special three part series, you'll be hearing wisdom and insights from me, as well as hearing from select highly sensitive leaders in the business miracles community who are currently creating more impact within their traditional professional roles, and all with way less effort by applying their highly sensitive leadership skills. Today, I am just so thrilled to connect with Brian Murphy, primary school principal and breathing coach. When I first met Brian, he was struggling with trying to juggle two different businesses and work as a substitute teacher, and it's been truly inspiring to be a part of his journey to witness him continue to master harnessing his highly sensitive strengths to develop an ongoing vision of what he's meant to bring to the world. Using his leadership skills to move forward as a leader within the primary school division has allowed him the opportunity to create way more impact with way less stress, including since 2019, Brian has been part of the Business Miracles community and highly sensitive Leadership training program, and since September 2021, he has been principal of a small primary school in Ireland. I as part of this, he has navigated huge change as there has been a large influx of students from Ukraine.
The school has grown from having seven children on roll when he first started to now having 34 children, many of whom are non english speakers. And Brian continues to thrive, including time for him to take care of his own highly sensitive needs through swimming, yoga, walks, many of which he shares with the children at school, as well as to be a strong father to his sons and a loving partner. Brian is also a contributing author to my book, the highly sensitive Leadership Revolution. I am continuously impressed by Brian and I know that you will be too. Brian, welcome to the Business Miracles podcast.
[00:03:17] Speaker C: Hi Heather, thanks for having me on.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Yes, I'm so, so happy to be here with you today. And I'm so happy for us to be having this conversation. As I just shared in the introduction, your highly sensitive leadership journey has truly been such a journey and especially these last two years of stepping into this role as principal, you have just navigated so much change through the pandemic, through the influx of those who are coming to Ireland from Ukraine, and so much more.
Where do we even begin? Is there something that comes to mind for you regarding how you continue to learn to manage your nervous system that has been most supportive for you as a leader within a more traditional, professional setting?
[00:04:19] Speaker C: It's a really good question, Heather.
I think when it comes to managing my nervous system, what I've learned in the business miracles community is something I can really put into practice on a daily basis. And I'm doing something really as a school principal, I never would have imagined myself doing. I think that's a starting point, really. I could never, ever imagine that I would actually be a school principal. I've always worked in education. I've always been extremely interested in lifelong learning, and I've done lots of courses like we spoke about before.
But the idea of stepping up and being a school principal would have been so far from my wildest dreams. And it's not that I would have, oh, I wished I would be a principal, and I can't step up. It actually wasn't even on my radar. I wouldn't have even considered it. And it's funny how it's happened, you know, while I've been part of this leadership program and while I was doing the work, I suppose for nearly two years, I kind of nearly organically became a school principal.
It wasn't something I was kind of grabbing to get or I really wanted, but it just kind of meant it was just the next most obvious step from what I was doing. So managing my nervous system was a central part of that, because there has been so many times in my journey, I suppose, especially in the last two years, where if I hadn't the tools to manage my nervous system, I would have just stepped back. I would have. I would have walked away. I would have found an excuse. Now, does it make it easy all the time?
Still? No. It can still be challenging. There's lots of challenges come up.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:16] Speaker C: I suppose the difference now is, because of learning to manage my nervous system and being more aware of how it works, is that I still am able to take those steps, even in discomfort.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: So, like, I can think of the time you mentioned the pandemic because I first started working as a primary school principal in a substitute role, and I was asked to kind of COVID for a couple of months. School was in a kind of transition, and they were looking for someone to come in, but they were waiting you know, there was a role to be filled for at least two or three months, and I filled it, but it was at the back end of kind of the right at the end of COVID where there was still all the mask wearing and all of the kind of challenges that went with that. And I was principal of the school and, you know, in an acting principal role. But as we transitioned out of that, then the opportunity to go and actually apply for a job came up, and it was, you know, I was just like, it would have been so easy just to say, no, you know, I'm okay. I just. I'm happy to be substitute, but with what was right in front of me every day, it just made more sense for me to take that next step and at least, I suppose, show up and do the duty interview and put my hat in the ring and. But, like, show up and give myself more options that way. And it was very scary for me, you know, and I was nearly kind of like, whoa, I can't believe this has just happened to my. Not that I wouldn't deserve it, but it was just something I never expected to do.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: Amazing.
[00:07:58] Speaker C: Here I am now, two years later and doing it, and, you know, it still has its challenges, but I suppose the leadership program really helps with it.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: Incredible. I so appreciate that you just spoke to showing up, and it's so fascinating because as I'm having these conversations as part of this podcast series that is a theme that I am hearing is, it can sound so simple, but we as highly sensitives, know how profound it is to not just have the thought about doing something or the consideration of doing something, but what is actually required to follow through and really show up. And so I appreciate that for the sake of just showing up for what it is on its own, but I also really appreciate what you shared about. It's not like this was something you were going for. Right. It more organically presented itself, and that is an element. Another, let's say, another layer to showing up is that even when it wasn't something that you necessarily planned, still being able to position yourself to say, yes, that's amazing. Right. And that really is a testament to what I've watched and witnessed you transform for yourself as a highly sensitive and empowering yourself to be able to step into this type of position.
So then that just makes me think of your day to day now.
And, you know, as I shared in the introduction, like, you've just navigated so much over the last two years, and. And as I know, you know, I know what it is to be in a school and everything is different every day.
Right. Like, you have a plan and you just never, never know. So I'd love for you to just speak a little bit to, you know, how do you do that for yourself as a highly sensitive leader, to just manage all those moving parts that come with being in a school?
[00:10:46] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, for me, the first step with that is to drop comparison, and I'll explain why. Because schools are emotional places, and there is a lot of emotion flying around every day in different ways, and there's a lot of moving parts, and as a highly sensitive person, I know I won't manage those moving parts and all of those different elements in what would be considered to be really cookie cutter, classic, you know, mainstream way of doing it. I just can't. It just. And it's not that I'm trying to be different. It just won't work.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Right.
[00:11:35] Speaker C: You have to drop that from start.
Oh, other schools do it this way, and I'll be like, okay, thank you for sharing.
You know, or I hear about school principals who, like, you know, I go to work and I do not get 1 minute in the day to myself, and I'm like, okay, well, that wouldn't work for me.
I would just not do that. Like, I was at a principal conference, and I shared with the group how I put aside, no matter what, ten minutes every day, no matter how, you know, what's going on. And there's all this stuff going on, as you know yourself. No, there's always something happened or just been an incident or something.
I put aside ten minutes where I either go to the office or I. I find a space and I meditate or I just take some time out where I am. Just, I suppose I realize now just allowing my nervous system to calm back down because it's very stimulating being in a school, and I do that no matter what. And I shared that at a principal conference, at a new principal conference that I was at in Ireland, and everybody was, like, in shock. Like, literally, it's like I just dropped the bombshell in the room. They were like, you can't do that.
You could tell, you know, they didn't say those words to me, but one or two teachers would say, how would you manage that? And especially in a small school, like, because don't you have to go into the staff room with. With the teachers every day? And I'm like, no, I just, you know, they know that teachers know now that I do it. Like, and I didn't have to. I suppose I could have maybe said more that I, you know, have a sign on my office bit more. But I kind of organically just do it every day and it's just become my routine. So that's one thing I do. But I. I had to drop the comparison first, and that's why I brought that up first, because if I didn't do that first, I wouldn't have then allowed myself the space to do the ten minutes a day because I'd be comparing myself to other principles and like, I should be working harder, harder, harder every day. And the way to solve all these problems is to work harder.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: Only because I found the strengths to drop comparison. It's not easy, but you find a kind of.
You find it inside yourself to do it.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:56] Speaker C: Then you can kind of more be creator in your life of the way it will work for you. If it's going to work, it's only going to work for me this way. You know, I need my time downtime. So that's one thing I do.
I do a kind of, you know, energy management that you train us in the program every morning prior to work. Great. Every morning I do either the OfTU or the form to the universe or auto writing.
And I ground myself with that.
And I have my weekly plan every Sunday.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:31] Speaker C: For me, it felt like last year, last year was an extremely challenging year at work in a lot of ways. There's so many different things because of what we were dealing with with new students who didn't speak English, and there was a lot going on. But every Sunday, I found the showing up to that, because you mentioned showing up already, and I mentioned that showing up to that was just grounding for my week.
So that was kind of like a weekly tool that I use, you know, the four cues, you know, tool having the program. So all of those things really help. And then connecting in with the training. So I do that once a week.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: I do administration every was every Thursday last year. And every Thursday, then I would do a training call. One of my trainings that you have in the program.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:15:28] Speaker C: But on top of that, too, I suppose it's just then when you're putting. When you're doing all of that, you're then letting that filter out into your day and having the courage to be a principal every day, to be the person that, you know, everyone comes to or you feel like that they're like you're. To solve the problems and you have to learn to delegate and you have to learn to. Well, let's look at that later. And all of these things and, you know, just, I suppose learning to be a little bit okay with a feeling of discomfort on a regular basis.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: Yes, yes, absolutely.
[00:16:02] Speaker C: So on my day to day, it's just been all of that and, and knowing that beyond, behind it all, there is a higher purpose for what I'm doing. Otherwise it would, when you lose touch it at it can become a very, very difficult job because there is so much paperwork and so much bureaucracy with it that it could be really, really challenging if you can't see the higher purpose of why you're even doing it in the first place.
[00:16:28] Speaker B: For sure. For sure. Oh, my gosh, Brian, just absolutely brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. So just kind of want to summarize some of the things that you spoke to, because it's just all so powerful. So, first of all, what it takes to master the ability to drop that comparison.
An ongoing process, for sure. I am like, just beyond that, you spoke to those ten minutes and that it can sound so small, especially for someone who maybe doesn't understand what it is to be in the educational system, regardless of country. Yet, as you share, when you went to the conference, it was like dropping a bomb. Right?
The courage to put that in place for yourself and then the courage to share it, as well as the practice of energy management on a day to day and the use of what we refer to in the community, our weekly part of intuitive planning. And so I'm just hearing, like, literally everything you're sharing is a demonstration of highly sensitive leadership, like, really taking ownership of your I experience so that you can remain connected to that purpose. Because otherwise, like you said, it could just so easily get lost in all of the more administrative paperwork or bureaucracy, which is, again, just, you know, part of more traditional systems. So I just hear you showing up and again, really, really being in that practice of highly sensitive leadership. But honestly, like, what I hear when I talk to you and when I'm listening to you is what I really hear is how fortunate the others in your school are that you're doing all of this, of course, in service to yourself. Right. And your nervous system.
But what a service to the students, to the staff, to the parents.
I mean, this is part of why whenever I see you posting on the forum and sharing some of what you're doing and how you're using the trainings, etcetera, my heart is always just so full because it just does take so much to show up in this way. So I just give total kudos to you. I bow to you.
[00:19:02] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's really incredible. And speaking of the forum, you also have a practice that you started on the forum, what we refer to in the program as a masterpost of celebrations.
And I really see that as so important and so valuable.
How does that support you to have that ongoing post and making it a consistent practice to celebrate and to share those celebrations and be witnessed in that?
[00:19:37] Speaker C: Yeah, that's really good question because I think I started it. Maybe it could have been March, April last or like just last term, a couple of months ago, maybe five or six months ago. I can't remember exactly when I started it.
Four or five months ago, maybe.
And I was doing it every day, like one celebration for the day and I. And then there was a lot of actually challenging stuff happening at work and, you know, things were, you know, paperwork and challenges, different things going on, but I was still doing my celebration post. And then I kind of had this weird realization. I was like, oh, I feel actually okay about things I shouldn't really considering, but I actually was like, I think that just one reminder every day was starting to really, like, hit me and the more consistently I did it. And this is really interesting because I have been doing it during the summer holidays as well, but not as consistently.
I haven't been as consistent.
Oh, maybe that's why, even though I'm on holidays, do, you know, small things are bothering me or, you know, it's. But I have been doing it, but just not. I suppose. I suppose I just haven't been as disciplined.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Right.
[00:20:52] Speaker C: As I was saying, April and May and June.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:56] Speaker C: And I was, you know, off. I had more time off. So it was kind of like, oh, I deserve to be a bit, you know, it's interesting how it works, isn't it? So I suppose what it makes you realize is that even though you're going through something challenging and you are managing something challenging, it is all how you look at it, you know? Yes, I know people always say that in personal development, but it's, see, I've done a lot of work in personal development prior to joining your program, and I always aspired to living, you know, the way that a lot of the personal development coaches and teachings out there because it's just like living your best life and, you know, people like Robin Sharma and all of these people. And then I realized that actually, to live your best life, it takes a, you know, it takes a lot of courage.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:21:48] Speaker C: You know, like I said to you at the very start of the call, I could never imagine being a school principal.
And there are times when I go, God, it's really challenging. But it's like, I think, yeah, I think maybe somewhere along the line prior to that, I had made the mistake that maybe living your best life meant that everything was always easy. Every day there was a bit of that going on for me until maybe three or four years ago where I realized that isn't the way it works.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:22:17] Speaker C: Growing up needed to be done, you know? Yeah.
[00:22:19] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:22:20] Speaker C: The celebration post just keeps you on track.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: Gorgeous.
[00:22:26] Speaker C: Despite discomfort and challenge, there's always something good to come out of it. And I'll just give you an example. Today I was sharing with my partner Lauren, how, you know, this is where comparison comes in as well, because, you know, society tells you, you know, you should feel so grateful because you've got such long summer holidays. And I do. I am really grateful. And I haven't been completely off because under principal, so there's things I've had to do, but overall, I've had a really great holiday and I'm really grateful for that. But also, when I'm at work, I'm really busy and sometimes it can be overwhelming. But I'm also serving people. Like, I get up and you're like, thinking, how can I serve the children today? How can I help with teaching them what I'm going to teach them? And then I'm serving the school community and the staff by showing up in a way that I think is the best I can show up. And that's service. Yeah. But then during the summer holidays, I'm, you know, I've had loads of time with my family and it's a huge service to them, but I haven't had as much extended service with people outside of my intimate family, outside my immediate family, you know?
[00:23:38] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:23:39] Speaker C: I'm like, you know, I think, you know, there is a completely different way you feel when you're on holidays, you know, and everybody's appreciated and I have felt good overall, but there's times where you kind of go, oh, yeah, I wonder why. Maybe small things are annoying me more than they should or whatever, and it's because I'm not as engrossed with serving out.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: Amazing, amazing.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: But as a highly sensitive person, the key for me is knowing when your boundaries lie with service, you know, because I could literally be giving and giving and then I would just hit the wall and I collapsed.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:17] Speaker C: So the celebration post maybe keeps me balanced when I'm going through challenges, but also the energy management allows me to be of service to both myself and others, you know, amazing. Not one or the other. Like six or seven years ago, I would have been just doing way too much and I would have burnt out.
[00:24:38] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:24:39] Speaker C: I'm always aware that I'm always on that kind of balancing is like, it's like on a tightrope sometimes it feels of giving, maybe over giving, and then you kind of pull yourself back and just knowing what is possible for you. That's important.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: So, so brilliantly said. Absolutely.
I appreciate the celebration to, like, keep you steady and recognizing, like, oh, I kind of relaxed around that on holiday, which is such a valuable subject for us, as highly sensitive because, believe me, I've been doing this work long enough that I see it, you know, and how it plays out for so many. And like you said, oh, I should deserve. And then it actually ends up working against us. Right. And then also what you said about service, which is when you're not grounded in yourself as a highly sensitive leader, you can lose track of boundaries and then it's too much.
And so often what happens is exactly what you described, which is like, either I'm providing way, way more than is actually healthy and supportive for me, or I feel like I have to totally pull back and recover. But you describe so beautifully how that can kind of feel a little empty. So highly sensitive leadership is about cultivating that kind of sweet spot. Right. And what that is for each of us.
So I just appreciate all of that. I know that as we get ready to wrap our conversation today, we haven't really had so much time this time in conversation, you and I, to talk about your work as a breath coach. Is it breath coach or breathing coach?
[00:26:23] Speaker C: Breathing education programs, especially for children.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: That's gorgeous.
[00:26:28] Speaker C: It's great you brought it up, Heather, because it actually really connects in with what you just hit the nail on the head when you're in such a busy job all year long, like as a primary school principal. It's kind of nine months of intensity.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: And you get your Christmas break and your Easter break, but they're shorter than the summer break.
This level of intensity, and then you get this longer. In Ireland, we get a very substantial holiday. We have like nine actual weeks, like about two calendar months, nine weeks off.
And like I said, I'm not off all the time. But you have a lot more time.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:09] Speaker C: And you mentioned how then, you know, the service, you know, you feel like there's a sense of just, you know, a little bit of empty feeling there and you're like, you know, can't really put my finger. But you know, now that we've talked about it makes more sense. But this feeling of emptiness. But as I've trained as a breathing educator, this summer, in the middle of July, I gave a breathing course to children in Cork in Ireland. And it just kind of reminded me back that, oh yeah, that slight empty feel. Oh yeah, there's no need for that. Like, I'm just here to serve and I will be again. And I think the power of it was that I also, there was a person came to me who's, who wants to be an elite rugby player and, you know, he's playing at a high level and he wants to manage his breathing to get to the highest level of that sport. And I worked with him. So that was really exciting for me because I love sport and what it did was it just reminded me of, yes, I do love to give service and I love to help people and I will again, and I will be doing it again in September. It's all going to be happening again. And the breathing work helps me to not go completely kind of cold turkey during the summer. You know, it's been really powerful for me. So I, I've really enjoyed that this summer.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: So, so amazing. And uh, you know, as we, we talk about in teachings and training, it's like such a great example of both and. Right. And um, and also you recently shared a story with me and just think this would kind of be a beautiful place for us to wrap if you're willing to share it. If you're not, that's okay too. But how you like worked with one student, particularly like, and using your breath educator expertise.
[00:28:55] Speaker C: Yeah. And I was sure, yeah, about the, so I was working with a child and it was actually through Zoom, but he was really engaged, you know, for a twelve year old. He really took it in and you really listen and he plays really, really high level of soccer or football. Soccer, you know, and he, he was really like interested in, and he had problems with his breathing on the pitch, but he wanted to play better level. And at the end of the program he just said, oh, there's something I wanted to tell you. And I said, well, what's that? He said, oh, I was given the option to do an end of year school project at the end of all my primary school because he was finishing what's called 6th class in Ireland before you go to the next level. And he said, I was given the option by my teacher to do a project on anything I wanted. It could have been dinosaurs or whatever. And he picked a breathing, how the technique that I taught him about learning to breathe through your nose and the importance of that helped him or helps you so much. And. And he did a whole project on it, and I was just amazed. Like, I was delighted, and I, you know, I think all of that is just a reminder of how much, you know, like, you know yourself, Heather, when you help people and when you share knowledge that you have and when they then put it into action, that's when it really is exciting, you know?
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Amazing. Exactly.
Yeah. Thank you so much for being willing to share that. I just so love that story because it's just one example, and I know there's so many others of the impact that you're making because you have been willing to do the real work, as we talk about in the leadership training program and take everything that you receive in the program, again, for yourself, but really in all the ways that it's being utilized to just, you know, be influential and have a positive impact for others. And I'm continuously impressed by you. And again, the way that you show up, we talk about the real work in the program, because it's not just about information. Right? It's really about application and implementation. You've done that. You continue to do that for yourself.
You have done that. You continue to do that for others. And I know that there's just so much more to come for you. Brian, where can listeners find out more about you as a breath educator and or anything else that you're doing in the world right now?
[00:31:35] Speaker C: Well, as a breath educator, my website is www. Dot yourbreath. Ie. So. Y o u r breath. Ie breath. And. Yeah, and as a school principal in the local newspaper, we had our wine and cheese night. I was photographed in the local.
[00:31:59] Speaker B: Fantastic.
All right, I'm gonna confess, and I'm gonna share that I have been receiving this inspired idea for, like, a couple of years now, literally. But I just do see some type of business miracles retreat happening in Ireland.
[00:32:17] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, there's so many places. Oh, you can. So many places you could choose.
Sacred energy.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: Maybe I'll be calling on you. We'll make it happen.
[00:32:28] Speaker C: Yeah, no, that would be great.
And, you know, like, just to wrap up there, we were talking about how, you know, I was talking to you about how having that opportunity to do the breath work during the summer kind of, you know, grounded me again, and doing the energy management grounded me. And then that's given me the opportunity then to, despite that kind of little bit of discomfort, even on holiday time, it's still there to really enjoy my summer with swimming in the sea here in Ireland and cycling up the mountains and with going for walks in the woods and going to the beach. We just came back from a camping holiday and right on the coast here in the south coast of Ireland and I think five or six years ago I wouldn't have navigated it so well. That feeling would have probably overpowered me more and I still would have taken some action when it came to my physical health, but I wouldn't have been so proactive with it. And I'm doing a three kilometer swim around an island close to where I live on Saturday and I've been training for that all summer, so I'm excited about that.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Yeah, you are living your best life.
[00:33:48] Speaker C: Yeah, it's been great. Yeah.
Yeah. Thanks editor.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it is amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for again, the ways that you continue to show up everything that you are bringing to the world as a highly sensitive as a highly sensitive leader. Thank you for our conversation today. And yeah, for those who are listening, we thank you too. Until next time, thanks Heather.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: Thank you for being a part of this business Miracles podcast episode and for beginning to dip your toe into the journey of highly sensitive leadership training. If you are ready to truly use your sensitivities as strengths in all parts of your work and life, I invite you to connect for a one on one chat. You will experience being deeply listened to, and together we'll get a sense of whether the highly sensitive leadership training programs are the best, best next step for you and your highly sensitive journey. At this time, just go to www.claritycall.com to schedule a conversation. We so look forward to connecting with you. Talk to you soon.
